This morning as I was waking my first thought was that I wouldn’t bother to shower as then I could just pop back into bed once I’d relieved myself of small people. My smallest, small person now has a bus pass and she is excited to meet her three friends at the bus stop at the end of the street, and then seems to be enjoying the scenery of the return journey in the afternoon.
This new development has put back into my life some of the time I thought I had lost in the move. My Monday helper no longer appears, and the walk to school rota has gone, and so I had lost those spare moments where I felt I could justify doing things that were good for my health.
Now I know in my head that taking care of yourself is as much a priority as getting work done. I also know in reality that when I look after my health I am better humoured and more productive. However guilt and angst over being a parent who tries not to use childcare while working full-time have long been part of my life, and so the exercise and healthy living can slip while I focus on other people at home and work.
So today as I climbed out of bed and thought about how I could climb back in in 40 minutes, something in my head told me to pop my running trousers on and be ready to go once the bus had left.
Up until the month before the move I had been running three times a week, and was a week from achieving a 5k run. The past nine weeks have seen all that effort slip as I spent more time in a car. On Monday when the bus with the small person left for the first time, I was dressed ready to start the running programme all over again. I think I’ve found a route where I can have my anonymity for the few weeks that it will take me to feel confident about running again. However I can see that with the fading light, my luminous rucksack will not cut the mustard for safety. So hopefully I will feel confident to run the other way into the city in a few weeks time. Maybe I should invest in a better hat to disguise who I am.
Again it’s that head over confidence thing. I know in my head that most people who do spot me running will probably be pleased that I’m making time to exercise, but my confidence doesn’t like the thought of people seeing me lumbering along. The intelligent thing will be to turn and head into town and use the lights and the park for safety in the winter months. It will also mean running up hills, which will be a whole new experience for me.
I’ve always felt the running programme I use was hypnotic, as from the beginning of using it even in the worst of weather it could tempt me to put on my trainers and get out and enjoy the air. Good to see that after only one use this week it worked its wonders and tempted me out of the house for a good half hour.
As I sit with a juice, having cleaned bathrooms and contemplating moving the various stages of washing around, I’m enjoying the space of my lungs. It’s a post running sensation I love. The feeling that my lungs have been filled with fresh air, and can power me for the rest of the day.